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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27561460">Can You Save Me?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfNewOrleans22/pseuds/QueenOfNewOrleans22'>QueenOfNewOrleans22</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Either - Or [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Guns N' Roses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Blood and Injury, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Suicide Attempt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:28:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,628</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27561460</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfNewOrleans22/pseuds/QueenOfNewOrleans22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Axl comes home, just in time. </p><p>*Alternate ending to my other story, 'Can You Hear Me?'*</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Axl Rose/Izzy Stradlin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Either - Or [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2014570</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Can You Save Me?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This alternative ending story was suggested by Gabbys.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was shards of glass on the ground, glinting in the faint light. </p><p>"God!" Axl narrowly avoided slashing his feet open as he walked across the kitchen in a quick stride. His hands were clenched into fists, and he slammed them against the wall, leaning against it, as if searching for support in the most inanimate things. "I feel like I'm talking to myself!" He grit his teeth hard enough to send a bolt of pain through his jaw. </p><p>The darkness of the night was creeping in through the windows, glistening stars and the full, round moon. It was an eerie backdrop, like a painting that was never meant to have been given life. The wind was howling - a storm was incoming, and it would take no prisoners. </p><p>Axl stood there, heart hammering against his ribcage like a jackhammer. There was nothing worse than being angry, and having to let that rage rot like a body in the dirt. </p><p>But the bitter alternative was far worse. </p><p>And there was Izzy, pale skin and dark hair. He was silent as ever, his face carefully neutral, as if he was afraid of showing too much emotion. But that was per usual, since for as long as Axl had known Izzy, he had been a blank slate that had needed somebody else to fill in the colors. </p><p>"You're just gonna stand there, and not say anything?" Axl turned back around, a headache pounding against his skull. "I suppose I shouldn't have hoped for anything else." He tried to ignore that little voice at the back of his head, the voice that was saying to stop before things got worse. </p><p>But Axl had never listened to that little voice, and wasn't going to start now. </p><p>Leaning against the countertop, Izzy licked his lips. He opened his mouth, closed it, and then, for a moment, seemed to consider Axl with those piercingly dark eyes of his that never failed to seem to be that of a far different man. Izzy looked down at the glass, until his hair obscured most of his face. "I'm so <em>tired." </em>He whispered. </p><p>Had the words been uttered during any other time, Axl would've recognized the plain exhaustion. But he wasn't in the right mind, and he didn't give a single damn about the details. "We're all tired, Izzy. <em>I'm </em>tired. You're not the only one whose been working non-stop, but, of course, it's all about fucking you." Axl left the wall and walked over to the fridge. </p><p>Axl bent down and looked at the contents before grabbing a bottle of water, hoping that the coldness would calm his heart. "Because Izzy is the only one who suffers." He muttered, opening the bottle and taking a sip. </p><p>They were alone, because Duff and Slash were off at a bar and Steven had found some girl to fuck and they were alone, alone, alone, a fire and a lake. Light and darkness. Yells and silence. They bounced off of each other in both pleasant and unpleasant ways, giving rise to both desires and anger. They were both fucked up from the lives that they'd been thrust into, and, in some strange way, they'd found solace in each other. </p><p>With what sounded like a choked sob, Izzy covered his eyes. "I can't do this anymore." He mumbled hoarsely, his voice raw from having yelled earlier in the night. It was a rarity, but that didn't mean that it never happened. </p><p>"Do what anymore?" Axl covered the bottle with both of his eyes. "Be with me?" </p><p>The words fell into the silence. </p><p>Axl abruptly stood up, slamming the water bottle down on the table. The chair screeched against the tile unpleasantly, and made Axl's headache that much worse. "Fine." He said, strangely calm, his rage seeping away, replaced by a simple acceptance. "I'll leave you with you, because that's the only person who you really love, huh?" </p><p>"<em>Shut up!" </em>Izzy suddenly screamed, bending down at the waist. He started sobbing, and somewhere in Axl's mind, that registered as wrong because Izzy didn't cry, ever, and in the rare times that he did, then something was seriously wrong. </p><p>But it didn't matter - not in that moment. </p><p>Because it was all over, wasn't it? </p><p>Axl knew it, deep down in his chest. "I don't care. You don't love me? Fine." He stormed off into his room and grabbed his wallet, full of all of his precious money. "Do you want to know why I was with you, Izzy? Do you?" Axl grabbed his jacket, slipped it on, and then bent down to grab his shoes. </p><p>"Because I <em>pitied </em>you. You were such a miserable loner, and I pitied you. I hung out with you because nobody else gave a single fuck about you. And you wanna know what? I didn't, either, but, hey, I figured that I might as well give you some company before you just tossed yourself off a cliff." Axl opened the door, and he turned around, and looked at Izzy. </p><p>They'd spend years together - two freaks who found company in the most unlikely of places. </p><p>But they'd been torn apart, and nothing could glue them back together. </p><p>And yet, Axl felt his heart ache when he saw Izzy, and how utterly broken he looked. Izzy was the man that he'd loved, but there was nothing more to be salvaged from this relationship. </p><p>"I want you out of the band." Axl said quietly. </p><p>Izzy made a strange gasping noise, and he fell onto his backside, burying his face in his hands. "F - fine, <em>fine." </em>Izzy choked out, sounding so utterly pathetic. </p><p>And Axl left. </p><p>He didn't look back as the door slammed shut. </p><p>-- </p><p>Axl was alone in the bar - or, at least, it felt like it. </p><p>He couldn't find it within himself to drink more than a glass of whiskey, and then the memories of the hours previous came rushing back and Axl cursed the world for handing him this life. He cursed Izzy for being like he was. He cursed himself because, once again, he'd let his anger get the better of him. </p><p>After a moment, Axl's thoughts morphed from anger to a vague concern when his mind returned to Izzy, and when they were kids, and Izzy used to prick his fingers on broken pieces of glass and stare at the blood as it trailed down his arm. </p><p>Axl had always been disturbed by the sight, unsure of why somebody would cause purposeful harm to themself. </p><p>"Oh, my god." Axl buried his face in his hands, remembering those terrible lies he had uttered. He shook his head, knowing that he needed to get back home. </p><p>No matter what would happen once Axl got back, he needed to go, and make sure that Izzy was okay. </p><p>-- </p><p>The door was locked when Axl ran up to it and frantically twisted it, knocking his shoulder into it when it didn't immediately open. Axl knew that he hadn't locked it because he'd been in too much of a hurry to leave to do anything other than slam it like a petulant teenagers, plus, he didn't have a key. </p><p>With shaking hands, Axl fell to his knees and grabbed a large rock, tossing it aside and grabbing the key that Duff had put there months ago, back when they'd first moved in. Axl had said that it was a stupid idea, but now, was immensely grateful as he shoved it into the lock and turned it, opening the door. Axl fell but immediately stood back up, his heart thundering in his chest. </p><p>'<em>Please don't let it have happened.' </em>Axl thought, glancing up at the ceiling, as if praying to God for the first time in several years. '<em>Don't take him away from me.' </em></p><p>The thought of Axl having driven the only man he would ever love to suicide was enough to make the world get very, very dark. </p><p>There was glass all over the floor, and it crunched under Axl's shoes when he sprinted into the kitchen. A bloody handprint was on the wall, and it was smeared, as if the person it'd come from had fallen halfway. </p><p>Nobody was in the kitchen, so Axl ran into the hallway and shoved open the nearest door. Slash's bedroom, which he shared with Duff, was empty, and so was the next bedroom, which was Steven's. The bathroom was absent of anybody, too, and Axl wasn't sure whether he should've been relieved or terrified. </p><p>The only remaining rooms were the garage, and their room. </p><p>God, Axl felt sick. He wanted to go back in time and erase all of those terrible things he had said, and just asked Izzy what was wrong. Axl knew that the truth was that he'd been the selfish one the whole time, but he had deflected and accused and hadn't listened. </p><p>Why didn't he ever listen? </p><p>The bedroom was empty, and Axl turned, staring at the bathroom door. It was shut, but the light was on, and the golden gleam was shining out from underneath. </p><p>Axl knocked on the door, barely able to breathe. "I - Izzy?" He said, loudly enough to be heard through the wood. "Izzy, open the door, please." His heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest. </p><p>No answer came. </p><p>Reaching down, Axl tried the knob, and it twisted easily. He pushed the door open, and it went, slamming against the wall, probably leaving a dent, but Axl didn't care because <em>oh my god that's blood. </em></p><p>Izzy lay on the ground, arms splayed, face tilted to the side. There was too much blood - his arms were on his chest, and he was soaked in red liquid that was quickly beginning to dry. Axl fell to his knees, unwilling to believe it, but knowing that it was real. He crawled over, shaking compulsively, grabbing Izzy and almost flinching at how <em>cold </em>he was. </p><p>"No, no, no!" Axl pressed two of his fingers against Izzy's neck, praying for some kind of mercy, and he held his breathe. A moment passed, one terrible minute of anxiety, and then a weak pulse fluttered against Axl's fingertips, like the beat of a hummingbird's wings. "Oh, thank god." </p><p>But they weren't out of the woods - far from it. </p><p>Axl looked down at Izzy's arms, and felt sick at the sight of two deep lacerations that went from one end to the other on Izzy's wrists, and there was too much blood for Izzy's heart to still be beating - but it was. And for that, Axl was beyond grateful. </p><p>He grabbed two small towels that were hanging on the wall and hurriedly wrapped them around Izzy's arms. "Just hang on. Please." He begged, looking down at the blood and at Izzy. "Please just keep breathing, you - you bastard." </p><p>By all means, Izzy looked dead. His face was pale, ashen, even - he was barely breathing, and when he did, it was irregular and uneven. Axl pressed the towels down onto Izzy's arms, praying that it wasn't too late, hoping that he could still be saved. Axl caught a flash of bone, and he felt sick at the sight, but persisted, trying to keep his focus. </p><p>The 'phone was in the kitchen. Axl didn't want to leave Izzy, but knew that of no help came soon, then Izzy would bleed out. </p><p>For the first time, Axl wished desperately that someone else would come home. </p><p>Beneath his firm hands, Axl could feel Izzy begin to move. It was a relief, and then he looked down and saw those familiar eyes flutter open, and Axl could've screamed in joy at the sight. </p><p>"Bill?" Izzy mumbled, his voice slurred. His half-lidded eyes fluttered, and he stared up at Axl, dazed, looking deeply confused. </p><p>Izzy's gaze drifted down towards his arms, and then he dropped his head back onto the floor, about to close his eyes again. </p><p>"No, no!" Axl grabbed Izzy by his face. "You stay awake, Jeffrey! Stay awake." He hesitated, and then lightly slapped the side of Izzy's face, not enough to hurt him, but enough to rouse him. "Don't close your eyes." </p><p>Letting out small moan, Izzy opened his eyes again. "I - wanna sleep. Lemme go to sleep." He muttered, seemingly having to force his mouth to open and cooperate with him. </p><p>"No. You don't get to sleep right now. You have so much more life left - <em>please don't go to sleep." </em>Axl felt like his heart was crushing underneath the weight of his devastation, and the unknown as to what was about to come. He couldn't live without Izzy - the world wouldn't be able to survive without him. Axl reached up and lightly brushed Izzy's dark hair away from his face. </p><p>There was so much blood that it seemed to blend into the other colors. Axl didn't know how such a large amount could come out of those skinny wrists, but the only thing he could do was press the towels tighter down onto the skin, trying to stem the blood that was steadily pumping out. "Don't fall asleep, Jeff." Axl said, his eyes burning with the incoming threat of tears. "I don't want to let you go, yet." </p><p>Izzy didn't reply - his gaze was fixed on the wall. </p><p>"I didn't mean anything I said." Axl was becoming closer to having a mental breakdown, but he forced it away - now was not the time. "I was so angry, but that doesn't excuse it. Not at all. I hung out with you because you made me smile and feel happy. You mean so much to me." </p><p>"I'm sorry." Izzy mumbled. </p><p>Axl was about to dissuade whatever fears that were in that magnificent mind, but then a door slammed, and footsteps sounded. "Hey, guys! I'm home." Slash yelled, cheerful as always. </p><p>Time seemed to slow down. Axl immediately sat up straight from his crouched position so that he could talk to Izzy. "Call 911!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, straining to be heard. </p><p>"What?" Slash said. </p><p>Axl could hear the terror in his own voice. "Call 911! Tell them we need an ambulance! <em>Now!" </em></p><p>No answer came, but a split second later, Slash's voice could be heard, and he sounded concerned. Axl exhaled, looking back down at Izzy, who was looking down at his wrists. "You'll be alright, baby. The ambulance will come and we'll get those wrists stitched up and - I'm so sorry." Axl felt tears roll down his face. </p><p>Izzy blinked. </p><p>And then his eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he fell unconscious. </p><p>- </p><p>Everybody was silent. </p><p>Wheels screeched on the tile. The smell of antiseptic was unbearable. </p><p>Steven tossed aside the magazine he'd been reading, and sunk lower into the uncomfortable chair that squeaked in complaint. His hair was a mess, and there were bags under his eyes. "I need another coffee." He said with a small, hopeless little smile, but nobody gave a chuckle at the weak joke. </p><p>Unable to sit down and stay still, Axl was pacing restlessly. He had washed all of the blood off of his hands and faces, but it still stained his clothing. But Axl couldn't leave - not until he was sure that everything was okay, even though it wasn't. </p><p>"What if he's not okay?" Slash suddenly said. "What if - oh, god." He buried his face in his hands. </p><p>Duff squeezed his shoulder. "Izzy'll outlive us all, man. He'll be okay." </p><p>But they didn't know that, did they? Axl let out a small, shuddering breathe, and felt the guilt as it threatened to suffocate him. Izzy had almost died - he had slit his wrists down to the bone and lay there, resigned to whatever may come next, and Axl had forced him to that point. He had said those vile, unforgivable things. </p><p>Izzy had always been a rock for everybody, but now he was broken in two. </p><p>An older woman emerged from behind the doors, and her face scrunched up in sympathy as she approached Axl, her scrubs brushing against the blindingly white floor. She looked exhausted, but her smile was kind. "He's okay." Belle, or so said her nametag, informed Axl, who let out a relieved sigh. </p><p>"Good." Axl nodded, feeling breathless. </p><p>Belle glanced at all of them, perhaps figuring that they were all together from the forlorn gazes and bated breathing. "He had to have a blood transfusion." She said slowly. "The lacerations were very deep, and will scar, but we stitched him up. I am confident that he'll be just fine." </p><p>The atmosphere in the room suddenly seemed to become lax, and Axl was able to take a deep breathe, so, so happy, beyond words, to know that Izzy would be okay. '<em>Physically, maybe. But not mentally.' </em>Axl reminded himself. </p><p>"When will we be able to see him?" Axl asked, glancing at Duff, and almost flinching at the look in those dark eyes. Rightfully so, Duff was angered, but was too smart and too kind and too concerned to do anything about it. Not yet, anyways. For now, Duff settled for squeezing Slash's shoulder and providing what little comfort he could to Steven, who, when told the news, had collapsed in the threshold and started crying. </p><p>"One of you can go now." Belle said. "There can't be too many people in the room at a time, and be quiet - he needs to rest." She allowed a small smile. "But I'm sure that seeing one of you will help him. He's got a minder with him, just so you know, to prevent any further harm." With those parting words, Belle hurried away toward a doctor who was lingering nearby. </p><p>Axl almost felt like collapsing out of pure happiness. Izzy was okay, and that was all he could've asked for. </p><p>"Who's gonna go first?" Steven suddenly asked, looking between his friends curiously. </p><p>Duff shook his head. "I think Axl should go first." He stood up, and motioned for the other two to join him, having to physically pull up Slash. "Let's go get coffee. I have a feeling that tonight's gonna be a long one." </p><p>- </p><p>Izzy looked pale. </p><p>There seemed to be millions of tubes injected into his skin, and there was enough bags underneath his eyes to be able to pack a lifelong vacation. His hair hung limply around his face, and his wrists - god, Axl couldn't even look at them, because the sight made him feel sick. </p><p>But after a moment of standing in the threshold of the door, and avoiding eye contact with the steely-faced minder, Axl knew that he couldn't avoid the problem anymore, and tentatively walked into the room. He sat down on the free chair, unsure of himself, of his role. </p><p>"How are you feeling?" Axl asked. </p><p>Izzy shrugged, and the hospital gown slipped off of his bony shoulder. </p><p>"Yeah, that was a dumb question." Axl nodded. "Is there anything that I can get you?" He asked.</p><p>Izzy shook his head in negative.</p><p>"Listen. I'm - I'm bad at apologies, but I'm gonna try to let you know here that none of those things were true in the slightest. I was trying to hurt you." Axl lowered his voice, because the minder looked deeply suspicious. "But then I was at a bar and realized - " </p><p>"How much I meant to you?" Izzy sounded sarcastic, and Axl nearly laughed, because that was the man he knew and loved so, so much. But the deep hurt was evident, and that needed to be addressed, first. </p><p>"There's no excuse. I drove you to that brink. I hurt you deeply. If you don't want me in your life anymore, I don't blame you." Axl felt like somebody was squeezing his heart painfully. "But when you were laying on that floor, I suddenly realized that you're the one person in my life that I have ever loved completely, and totally."</p><p>Izzy snarled. "You have helluva way of showing your love." He snapped. "I know truths when I hear them, Bill." He looked away, and, suddenly, his face contorted, and a single tear slipped down from his eye. </p><p>"No. None of those terrible words were the truth. <em>None." </em>Axl searched for Izzy's hand, and he loosely held onto it, giving Izzy room to smack him away, but no rebuttal came. Axl was gentle, sure not to move Izzy's arm in any way, and awkwardly crouched over the bed as consequence. "I hung out with you because you made me smile like nobody else could. I hung out with you because you were this cool, mysterious kid who had this great laugh that he rarely did. I love you so, so much, and I'm ready to spend the rest of my life making the world go 'round, just for you. But I know that my words are irredeemable." He paused, awaiting a response. </p><p>None came. </p><p>"I love you more than anything. But this - <em>this, </em>was the worst mistake I've ever done." That was an understatement. "You're angry, you're hurt, and what comes next is your decision. But just know that you didn't deserve any of that, not a single bit. I've been the selfish one, not you - never in a million years." </p><p>With a small sniff, Izzy shivered slightly. "I don't know what to do." He suddenly confessed quietly. There was blood underneath his fingernails, and some still clung to the corner of his head, disappearing into his hairline. It'd been a messy attempt. </p><p>Axl nodded. "It's your decision. But for once in your life, Iz, I need you to think of yourself." He squeezed Izzy's hand, so gently that it felt like he was handling vintage glass. </p><p>And, in that single moment of brief light in the darkness, Izzy squeezed back. </p>
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